This Property is Condemned
by gathers-no-moss
Summary: "And I keep saying I'm sorry, and I know it doesn't help, but I keep saying it anyway."


_Summary: Jack and Kate meet for the last time. This is not a happy fic. I'm warning you now._

_Spoilers: None; Takes place post-island._

_Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue._

_Notes: Please review. I'm not sure I tracked their emotions very well and I would love everyone's opinion._

_Title: This Property Is Condemned_

* * *

Kate shivered underneath the thin, gray blanket, bringing her legs up into a fetal position. Her cell had never been the warmest place to live, but tonight it was positively freezing.

A silence hung in the air that she'd never noticed before. Usually talking and the occasional laughter could be heard ringing through the night. But she hadn't heard anything for hours. And it disturbed her more than she would have liked. Because something else seemed to be floating in the air along with it. It came off in waves when the guards passed on their nightly patrol. Or it passed when the other prisoners walked by; they either nodded their heads or gave her a whispered 'hi' in greeting. It was a kind of morbid respect, she supposed, usually deemed for the dead. Not the living.

And then out of nowhere, talking commenced in the distance. Everything evaporated. She couldn't understand what they were saying, but as the voices grew closer, her curiosity spiked, to a new level. A curiosity she hadn't been fond of before, but now found comforting.

Clinging to her blanket, she sat up, wincing as her bare feet touched the cement floor. It sent a shiver down her spine, and she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders tightly, before making her journey quietly to the bars. As the two silhouettes came within seeing distance, her heart dropped into her stomach. One was a guard.

The other, Jack.

Her skin grew warm, and she found herself fighting against the blanket, pulling in away from her over heated skin. Her fingers clutched the bars tightly, anger spreading through her body like wildfire.

_What the hell was he doing here?_

The guard stopped for only a moment, nodding his head in her direction, before continuing the other way.

And then there was Jack, stopping a few feet away from the cell, his movements stiff and awkward as he tried to adjust to the atmosphere surrounding him. His pale, unshaven face stared back at her, almost glowing in the dim light of the passage way. Brown eyes, stood out with an inner grief she was sure he hadn't meant for her to see. His dress was still immaculate, button down dress shirt and black dress pants. His left hand rested on his hip, nervous fingers tapping an unknown rhythm on his thigh. His gold band twinkled with the movement.

She was still beautiful, even with an orange jump hanging loosely on her small frame. In her face, he saw every ounce of anguish and hate that had been feeding her for years. It jumped out at him, and he found himself floundering under the brilliance of that one look. It told him everything that he needed to know. The glittering of pain she hid behind her eyes that only he could see.

With his stomach clenched tight, with a painful wedge around his heart, he put every emotion he had ever felt into one word.

"Kate."

Purely against her better judgment, she closed her eyes at the sound of his voice, letting it wash over her, letting the syllables lead her over the edge. When she opened them again, a strange mixture of hope and fear clung to his face, and she knew he had taken her response the wrong way.

Jack positioned his body a few inches closer, rubbing his forehead. "How are you, doing?" _How are you doing? How do you think she's doing Jackass? _"I mean . . ."

Kate crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently against the cement floor, ignoring his obviously ignorant question. She intented to set things straight. "Why are you here, Jack?"

He wasn't surprised his question had been ignored. He'd known it would be as soon as it left his lips. But her question intrigued him. He'd wondered the exact same thing as he'd drove here, trying to come up with an explanation. He hesitated, blinking with uneasiness, finally coming to a decision. Wrong as it could be for him. "Do I need a reason?"

"Yes," she answered immediately, irritation clinging to her voice. "I told you I never wanted to see you again. Until now you've kept your promise. Why now? Why tonight?"

For the past ten years, it had been enough just knowing that she was still in this world with him. Even though he couldn't touch her, be near her, it had been enough. And that's when he realized why he'd come. To say good-bye. To tell her that he still loved her after all these years. To tell her . . . To tell her . . .

"I'm sorry."

An awkward moment of silence followed his sentence, before she burst into laughter, surprising herself and her companion. His wide-eyed 'deer caught in the headlights' gaze only made her laugh more scornful. "What?"

He knew he should stop. Knew he should just leave well enough alone. But he'd never been one to back down. "I never got the chance to say it after . . ." He paused, trying to catch his breathe, ". . . after the trial. "Everything was a mess. And I . . ."

"Please." This was getting to be too much. The poor-pitiful me apology. Kate rolled her eyes, finding herself more annoyed than angry. She pushed back a wayward strand of hair, twisting it around her finger before letting go. "Just say it, Jack. You came here for closure, so that you could get on with your pretty little life."

"That's not fair," he answered in a rush of words. He felt his fists bunching at his sides as he tried to pull his thoughts together. "I did come here for some sort of closure. But I'm not going to force you to give it to me."

"Good," she replied stubbornly. She echoed his stance, pulling her hands up into knots at her sides. "You don't deserve any."

_Who is this person? _Jack looked at her in disgust. "What's happened to you? The Kate I knew would never want anyone to suffer at her expense. In fact, she would have gone out of her way to help someone in need."

"Prison changes a person." She raised her chin with a cool stare, arching her eyebrows. "Betrayal does too." She drew back into the tiny room and leaned against the wall, waiting, wondering how he would react. Hoping for a tiny amount of joy at his expense. Yet knowing it probably wouldn't come. The wounds were too deep for that.

He doubled over at the waist, the blow she'd dealt leaving him breathless. _Betrayal. _He wished he'd never heard of the word. A part of him understood her reaction. But another part, a part he wished would disappear, couldn't understand why she wouldn't let it go.

"That was a low blow," he whispered, taking in a lung full of air. He rested his hands on his thighs before rising to his full height, challenging her. "And you know it."

She smirked. "Hurt didn't it. What you're feeling right now is only a tenth of what I've felt for the past ten years. Try living with it for that long."

"I have." He gave her a hostile glare. "For the past ten years _I've_ had to live with the fact that I'm the person that put you here. . ." His voice broke off in mind sentence. _Die. She's going to die. _

"Say it," she hissed, pushing herself away from the wall, the challenge in her voice just as solid as it had been in his. "Say it loudly for everyone to hear. You wouldn't let me run. I would be safe. I would be free."

Jack held her gaze, eyes glowing with painful memories. This was it. He clamped his hands over the bars tightly, knuckles turning white from lack of blood. "Fine," he gritted out. The wild look in his eyes froze her in place. His demeanor had changed too quickly for her to catch up.

"I love you, damn it. Nothing will ever change that. I didn't want this to happen. I thought it was what you needed. What we both needed to survive." A pleading entered his tone, the anger dissipating as quickly as it had come. "Kate, you know this. And I keep saying I'm sorry, and I know it doesn't help, but I keep saying it anyway. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He leaned his forehead against the cool metal, noticing for the first time how chilly the air was. And not in the figurative sense. "I can't imagine you not being in this world."

Despite her best intentions, she felt herself soften against his words, even as she fought the new hurt that welled inside her body. "I know you didn't do it on purpose. I've always known that. But I don't want you here, Jack. And I don't want you there either."

He waited for more, disappointment flooding him when none came. "That's all you're going to say." He stared at her in disbelief, ignoring the truth behind the words. "I pour my heart out to you, and you're asking me to leave?"

"Geez, Jack." She threw her hands up in the air dramatically. "What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to forgive you?"

"I don't expect your forgiveness. I just wanted you to know my intentions."

"Your intentions don't mean a damn thing. The road is paved and all that crap." She walked the distance to where he stood, hands still grasping the bars. "You always thought you could fix me. It didn't help me on the island, and it sure as hell didn't help me off."

He smiled a bittersweet smile, knowing she was right, but not knowing how to respond with the transparency of his feelings shining through. Another train of thought entered his mind after a pause, and it made him ache. He decided to try a different road. "We were happy on the island, though, weren't we? For a time anyway?"

"Yes," she answered simply, clearly surprised by the questions., the turn of the conversation. _Maybe this would hurt less. _Surprised when she squelched down her first reaction in favor of the second. And for an instant she let her mind burn with memories. Laughing at Hurley's antics; their first real kiss; the first time they made love. But she couldn't keep them in the forefront of her mind if she was going to continue. "That's not going to help us now." She placed her hands over his, squeezing gently, feeling his warmth seep into her cool skin. "You can't fix this. And you being here, just makes things worse for me. I've made peace with what's going to happen. But you . . . I can't forgive you, Jack. You'll never have that peace. I'm sorry I can't give it to you."

He removed his left hand, letting it drift to the soft skin of her cheek. His fingers trailed tenderly down her face. She could feel the tears starting with every caress, pooling in the corners of her eyes. When had things changed between them. The last few moments seemed like a strange dream. One that she never wanted to end.

Her recent words washed over him, draining into his skin. He knew what he had to say. Only one word would do. "Okay." And it amazed him that he really was fine with it. He hadn't gotten what he had hoped to get, but he had gotten more than he deserved.

Her eyes glowed with thankfulness at his acceptance. She backed away, her lips quivering in a watery smile.

Jack nodded, missing the feel of her skin immediately, not trusting himself to speak anymore. Not with the threat of tears hanging against the back of his eyelids. He stepped back slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. A silent understanding passed between them, one he wouldn't ever fully understand, though he accepted what it held for him.

His footsteps thundered down the hall as she picked her blanket up off the floor. She cuddled it against her body, wishing for the first time in years, that it was Jack's skin against hers.

THE END


End file.
